friends

I have so many friends, wounded hearts that are reluctant to re-open themselves back up.  And I wonder why we as women wound more than heal.  Over and over in the Bible I see the value of friendships – true real friendships that encourage, build up, love through thick and thin. 

Yet, we choose to carry the load alone!?   I mean, we are all wounded, aren’t we?  Underneath it all we are still that insecure girl.  Not in all that we do, we stand firm in many areas of our life, but in some, we never seem to gain the solid ground, never seem to grow up.

So, instead of opening up and being real, we carry this heavy burden alone.  We keep it all to ourselves.  The hurt, the pain, the wounds. 

We talk ourselves out of asking, inviting, opening ourselves.  Haven’t you?  I have, too many times.  I want to do good, I want to go deeper, and then I fear the rejection.  So I stop, just short of asking, inviting or opening up.  And yet, that is exactly where Jesus resides.  He is deeper.

Now, this choice I (or you might) make is not in all areas of my (our) life.   I stand firm in Christ and my faith.  I stand firm in my school choice.  But I waiver in wanting to speak to the stranger about Christ.  I doubt my worth with family members who criticize.  I even wonder about how much I have to offer the girls or ladies I facilitate in Bible Study.  Really?

So He steps in, and I am reminded of my faith.  Of the journey He has led me on, the lessons He has taught me.  I am reminded of the time I have spent getting to know HIM – going deeper with HIM.  And I am reminded that I am worthy of pouring into others.  Of teaching them to see Him first in their day or understanding his word on a deeper level.  I am worthy of acceptance by family, whether they ever realize it or not. 

So knowing what I know, I need to trust Him when I encounter that stranger.   When I feel the gentle reminder to open my house or my heart – I need to do it.

I read Ann Voskamp’s blog post HERE and it got my mind thinking.  Why can we not be real?  Take off the mask that “all is okay” and just be real.  Not be jealous of what I perceive another has – but be totally satisfied right where I am.  Choose Joy.  That is really what it all boils down to.  Choosing joy – making friends, opening my heart, letting my wounds heal through Jesus.  Being right here, knowing this is enough – really more than enough.  And watching for that wounded heart and reaching out to help offer some healing balm : the love of Christ.  Choosing joy.

That is what is bouncing around in my head these days – and at the same time – breaking  my heart, just a bit,  but in a good way!