I am just amazed at how hard headed I can be sometimes. It takes a group of ladies (great ladies I must say) sitting in a circle offering advice on how to (this time) stop yelling too much. But you know it was nothing they said that gave me that "Ah ha" moment! One of these friends is a licensed counselor - so I did feel like I was getting some great FREE advice, but she is also a grandma and has been where I am and has done it! So her advice is well received.
This time however, my revelation was not in how I was dealing with my kids, not in my temper or my attitude. It was not one of my kids anger outbursts that I was solving. It was realizing that when I take my focus off why I am home and what my "mission" is - things fall apart! And that is what has happened the last 2 weeks or so.
We have been going great with school - consistent, good attitudes, and getting everything done! I can not always claim those things. But as soon as we are done with school, I start on my "project" which currently is sewing Christmas gifts. This is something I love to do - but if it is taking my focus off of being a stable mom and a loving mom, to my kids, then I need to find another way to do things!
One thing that rang true from my friend's advice - is to "rest" when the kids are resting. Okay, I know this is not new or anything. I have "rested" for years when the kids rest - especially when we had a baby in the house. But these days? Well, 3 of my 4 don't nap - they read or have quiet time. What do I do? Feverishly do things that I do not like to do when they are running around (i.e. sewing, canning, cleaning, etc). I also heard this week that we need to teach our kids to relax without guilt. Now in this area, I know that Robert is the person to model this to our kids. But really, if they never see me relax without guilt (which they don't) then what am I teaching them? That is it all about performance. That concept is something my boys will figure out without me modeling it every day of their lives, so really I need to teach them to take some down time, that relaxing after working hard is okay. I have to teach myself that concept more I think. I am performance driven - has to be done well (okay usually perfect) and has to be done NOW, and has to be done! This is not a healthy philosophy to live by.
Okay - so the new me. Today, we schooled at a leisurely pace (not that I would ever rush through school to that I can then dig out the sewing machine - no not me!) (we schooled by the fire I might add) and then we cleaned the house - together. We each took a room and the kids picked up and vacuumed the floors. Then the little guy helped me in my room just picking up stuff and getting it in one place for me to sort. Anyway, it went great. We have several very clean rooms and then the kids hit the legos. Oh yeah, I did send the 2 bigger boys out to journal nature this morning after school - by drawing our tree that is actually changing colors. So we really had a great morning. While they did legos I did can some pumpkin butter - but it only took about 30 minutes. Then as rest time approached I wanted to get the sewing machine out - but knew that would re-start the frenzy - and I wanted to force myself to rest this afternoon. So here I am resting.
Really, blogging is relaxing, I am not multi-tasking (don't ask the number of tabs I have opened - that does not count) and I get to have a few moments of me time. While that may sound selfish I am becoming increasingly aware that after I have some me moments I am a better and more patient mom! So here goes!
Did I mention that one of my friends called Nancy Leigh Demoss last night? I don't know which one did it, but today she was talking to me on her radio show! I could not believe it! She was using the Mary and Martha story to speak to my heart and oh my goodness! I can get so wrapped into being a Martha that I could scream!! I just pray that God will slow me down (gently) and show me how to be Mary, how to savor the moments with my kids and not let them fly by! Check it out here if you want to hear what she was saying to me. I still cannot believe those ladies!! :)
And while I do this, my boys are quietly in their rooms on their beds reading some books and resting, I must say the quiet sounds great!
Hope you have a blessed day!