Friday, December 12, 2008


You know, I wonder if peace ever comes from anywhere other than Jesus? You know? Really, is it possible to be at peace without Jesus in your heart? I cannot imagine, because while I have in in my heart, I still struggle with PEACE! But this week has been so much more peaceful than last!!

That was until 1:30 am today - I was peacefully sleeping (even my back was feeling better) when I heard a loud crash that stopped my heart! I was sure something crashed to the ground or that one of the kids was up and into stuff. Robert, however slept through it all! I got up and fearfully decided to search the house - but was sure there was something to be fearful of! Anyway, after much searching, I found a large tub of legos that fell off a shelf in my closet and dumped everything out. There had to be about a 1 million little legos all over our closet floor. So I went back to bed and proceeded to have anxiety attacks on and off for about an hour and a half. I would calm my thoughts and think about something else and then I would go back to the thoughts that stress me out. As I was finally about to fall back to sleep the cow mooed (from the Little People Barn) - still not sure how that happened - I have never heard it in the middle of the night before! Crazy!

But, back to the peace - I have been so much more at peace. The kids and I have just had fun this week - we have tried to do some crafts, read and just play. Our presents for Robert's brother's family are wrapped and ready to deliver tonight at dinner. So we are almost done exchanging gifts - I have 2 packages to get out still one to Oregon and the other North Carolina - I need to get on those. But really that is not too bad! I really like the gifts for our nephews - I was challenged until yesterday and now can't wait to see how they like it! And Lisa too and Brian. I am not a good gift giver - creative - but this time I think I did okay! We will see!

Anyway back to my first thought - peace without Jesus - I do not think it exists. And for those of us with Jesus we must be searching for that peace and trusting him to give it to us. I know for me it does not come on its own - it does not come naturally - I have to submit to get it from my Lord - and only when I ask and submit! Anyway, I am learning and I hope the legos don't fall tonight to rob me of some peace!

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