WARNING: I am fired up about Jesus and this post may seem preachy!! So read at your own risk if you are not fired up too!!
That is such a great thing about God. He meets you where you are. He does not want you to get your life right to get to know him. He does not want you to change you - he just wants you to go to him. No matter what.
While away from Texas this summer I was spending so much more time in my Bible, reading the words God wrote to me for such a time as this. I read devotion books, I listened to music praising him, I was there. But when we got back here to Texas, I feel back into being busy! Can't imagine why! Packing our home, seeing friends, and Facebook - yes that took my attention too. I justified my lack of time with God as just a phase of being busy.
While away I would say that I felt God's peace during a difficult time. I was stressed at times, but for the most part I knew in my gut that he will work everything out perfectly. The sale of our home, finding a job, and moving. I knew that to be true, I did not stay up worrying about it, I did not fret about where the money would come from, I did not really deeply fear. I felt that he was leading us and really ultimately leading us to where he wants us.
This past week and a half while being "too busy" to make time for quiet time I felt fearful, worried, stressed and even the panic attacks came back. We received a couple "no's" from jobs that were still out there - and I started to worry about this most recent job. I started to fear that maybe we won't get this either. I started to worry. I had more than one friend say that I was not as relaxed and at peace as I had been. Wow! Talk about seeing the effects of God's word and a lack of it!
So, yesterday I got the kids set up with a movie and stole away to my room with my Bible and devotion book. Well, God met me there with just the words he knew I needed to hear. I knew he would - I knew the devotion would be about just what I was dealing with - because, well, that is how he is. He meets you where you are with the words you need to hear - no matter what!
So I read my devotion book, often aloud as a prayer to God and as a statement to the one who lies in my ear and plants doubts in my head. The title yesterday was "When my foolish heart asks why" - and while I am not asking why I am being foolish in my fears. I announced :
"Satan, get out of here! My God has never promised me a perfect life of bliss on this earth. And when suffering comes my way, it is only further evidence of his truth and love. He is teaching me not to fall in love with this world and drawing me closer to himself and his promises in Christ." Wow - what truth! This is what I need to focus on and not to some silly fear that Robert will not get a specific job that we think would be great. God knows what is great for our family and he wants that for us.
It was a great period of time that I went looking to talk with God and he was there waiting, like he always is with all of us. He is waiting for us to surrender our fear, our control, our pride - all of it and to follow where he leads us to go. When we get to that place we will see that his will for us is so much better than we could have dreamed! So whether our change of address cards come from Indiana or somewhere else, I trust HIM. Not the job, not me, not Robert, but my God who will never lead me wrong or astray! And that brings tremendous peace to my heart!
It does not make sense that in the midst of trials, a simple book can calm the storm, but like my Sunday School teacher said this week - it ALWAYS will - and it is the only thing that can do that! God is so good, through pain, through joy, through unemployment, through a great job, through a move and through life, God is GOOD all the time!