Wow! That is the best word for my weekend. I mean wow!! I was so excited and looking forward to this weekend, and after hearing a friend say she was trying not to get too excited because she did not want the weekend to not meet her expectations I worried BRIEFLY! Then when I got to my conference and listened, God spoke! How can that not meet your expectations? It is not possible! You can not expect too much when you are expecting God to speak. And speak he did, not once, or twice or in a small quiet voice. No, he SHOUTED into my heart many times in the 26 hours I was at the Whole Hearted Mothering Conference.
What did he shout? Well, since I do not have hours to pour my heart out right this moment, and I am already tired again today, I am afraid I cannot share much. But he convicted me of so many small things, he laid so many big things on my heart, and let's just say he threw down a challenge or two as well. He asked me to look back on the last 14 years I have been serving HIM and look to see what that really means.
Then, okay are you ready for this? I found out this morning at church, he was not done talking to me! Really, I mean it. He was there at church this morning too. That is not out of the norm. I mean, He usually does show up at least twice, in our 1st grade Sunday school room and in the sanctuary during our morning service. But today, he was talking to me again. Not really talking so much as pleading with my heart, with me. Just again asking me those questions that he started asking Saturday afternoon. How much? How much are you serving me? How? How are you serving? He was not asking about how I am "serving" - like what are you doing these days in ministry? No - like....are you ready..... like "are you by chance serving me in your flesh..... or are you serving me by FAITH?" Those were the words that he used Saturday afternoon. Today is was...... well more like....."Am I (Jesus) something in your life?" or "Am I JESUS - EVERYTHING in your life?"
So I think I am perched on the edge of a very steep, very high cliff and that he is asking me if I am ready to take a plunge with him. And maybe asking me more that just "if" but when I am going to be ready to take that plunge with him, because until I am ready .... we are really just playing at this business of serving him.
Wow. wow. and WOW!
that is all I can say right now.